If I Only Had a Soul
by autumnrose2010
Summary: Data travels to the Emerald City to find the Wizard of Oz because he wants a soul so that he can experience emotions. On the way there he meets up with Pinocchio, who wants to be a real boy.
1. We're Off To See The Wizard

Data sped along, following the yellow brick road just like the munchkins had told him to do. He passed miles and miles of fences and acres of farmland. In one place he noticed that the fence seemed to be sagging. As he got closer he saw that it was not the fence at all but a wooden puppet leaning against it with a very sad expression.

"Hello there," Data said. "My name is Data. How are you doing this fine morning?"

"I am Pinocchio," the puppet said. "I am feeling sad today because I want to be a real boy so very badly."

"You're welcome to come along with me," Data said. "I am on my way to the Emerald City to find the Wizard of Oz. You see, I am an android which is just like a human except that I don't experience emotions. I want to be able to appreciate the beauty of rainbows and sunsets. I want to cry when I hear the Star Spangled Banner or Pomp and Circumstance. I want to feel small when I stand beside the ocean. I want to fall in love and have my heart broken. Do you realize that I've never thrown a single temper tantrum in my entire life? If only the wizard can give me a soul I can experience all these things. Also, as you can see I have yellow eyes. I think I would be more attractive to human females if they were a more normal color such as blue or brown."

"Well, I am hoping that the Wizard can turn me into a real boy," Pinocchio said. "I want to fall down and skin my knees. I want to dig for worms and go fishing and swat mosquitoes. I want to hit home runs and break windows. I want to get a tummy ache from too much blueberry pie. I want to throw spitballs and shoot sling shots. I have a problem with my nose too. I want it to stop growing so that no one can tell when I'm lying."

When they reached the top of the next hill, they saw a foursome on the same road headed in the same direction. The group included a tin man, a scarecrow, a lion, and a dark-haired girl in braids wearing a red-and-white-checked dress and ruby slippers. A small dog trotted along beside her.

"That girl sure is pretty. If I were a real boy I would ask her if she wanted to have dinner with me sometime. I wonder where she's from? Kansas, I'll bet."

"I wonder how intelligent that tin man is. I might would enjoy discussing the nuances of nuclear physics with him."

"If we hurry we might can catch up with them." So they picked up their pace, Pinocchio's knee joints making clickety-click noises as he struggled to keep up with Data.


	2. Man! I Feel Like A Human

All of a sudden, Data found himself beamed back aboard the Enterprise, with the words of the Wizard, "The things you seek you already possess," still ringing in his ears. He thought of Pinocchio skipping happily along the yellow brick road, on his way to Kansas to ask Dorothy out on a date. He heard music and looked around for its source.

Determining that the music was coming from Will Riker's quarters, he knocked on Riker's door. "Hello, Data, come on in," Riker said. He was holding his trombone. As soon as Data was inside he resumed playing.

"I believe that is the genre known as jazz," Data remarked.

"You are correct," Riker said.

"Widely popularized in the twentieth century by such artists as Louis Armstrong," Data continued.

Riker nodded. "Listen to this next piece," he said. A few minutes later he remarked, "I've never seen you do that before."

"What?"

Riker nodded at Data's feet. He had been tapping them in time to the music without even realizing it.

"Hey, would you like to give it a try?" Riker asked, handing Data his trombone. Data attempted a short piece. "Hey, not bad at all for a beginner," Riker grinned. Data felt all bubbly inside. Was that what happiness felt like?

A few minutes later he met up with Tasha Yar. He realized that he had never noticed how attractive she was before, with her straw-colored hair and her eyes the color of the sky on a bright sunny day on Earth. She smiled at him. "Hello, Data," she said.

"Hello, Tasha," Data said. "What a pleasure it is to see you."

Tasha seemed surprised. "Well, it's a pleasure to see you too, Data," she said.

"How would you like to have a banana split with me?" Data asked.

"That sounds like fun," Tasha said.

A few minutes later they were both sitting at a table, banana splits in front of them.

"Something seems different about you today, Data," Tasha said. "Did something happen?"

"Earlier today, I met with a very wise man," Data told her.


End file.
